My sister Kimbre and I have always been able to talk and never run out of things to say. I love our conversations. We talk about our joys, our struggles, and our journey through life. Over the last couple of years a major concept that kept coming up for both of us was faith. We were both going through some very difficult times in our lives. Though the circumstances were different the concept of applying faith was the thing that both of us were struggling with. One day I was at a store just browsing and came across a display of black gift bags with the word Faith written on them. I had a thought come to my mind and quickly grabbed two and brought them home. A couple weeks later Kimbre was in town. We drove over to Target and in the car I pulled out the bags. I told her that I had thought about something an exercise of sorts that I wanted us to do together. We talked about how we were both working on increasing our faith in certain areas. I told her that we were going to go inside and find an object that represented the thing that we were waiting and hoping for in our lives. Then we were going to put it in our Faith bag representing turning it over to Heavenly Father and then having faith. We would hold onto each other's bags until this thing had come to pass and then we would give it back along with a letter that we had written to one another. For me it was having faith that I would ever have a child again. As we walked into the baby section I could feel the tears coming up in my eyes. Tiny little onesies, soft fuzzy blankets, small little church dresses etc. etc. etc. I started to remember why I usually avoided this section. Being so close to things that felt so far away and that I wanted so desperately emotion was high. I started to question myself at why I had felt like this would be a good idea and wondered if I actually believed in what I was doing. I reminded myself that sometimes trying to walk forward wanting to believe something can happen is a step towards having faith that it will happen. Thinking of wrapping a tiny little baby in a warm blanket, I thought for sure my choice would be a blanket for my bag. Then I saw a tiny pair of flip flops hanging on a rack. On the top of each sandal was a coral pink crocheted flower. They were so sweet. So tiny and feminine and sweet. "OOhhhhh, Kimbre look" I said as I picked them up. My heart burned with the desire to have a pair of tiny feet to put them on. This is what I want for my bag I said. Then realizing that I most likely would have another boy I found a cute blue pair with a surfer look to put in the bag as well. Feeling my heartache and longing rise to the surface I wondered again why I was doing this. Then it was Kimbre's turn. She found something that represented the thing that she was and is still waiting to come to fruition in her life. Then we bought them, put them in the bags and took each other's bags. About a year later I got pregnant with Emma. At my baby shower Kimbre and I were both distraught when she told me that they had looked everywhere and they couldn't find the bag anywhere with the little shoes. Months went by and I had forgotten about them when one night a package came to the door. I was sitting on the couch with Em in my arms when Deke brought the package over. Totally oblivious to what might be in it I opened the box as little paper hearts flooded out onto my lap over Emma and I. Then I knew. Barely able to see through the tears I reached down and picked up a little pair of sandals with pink crocheted flowers. Then a letter from my sister expressing her love and happiness for us. A letter to Emma that touched my heart about Kimbre's love for her and joy at her arrival. Then I just sat and cried. What do you know I did have a girl. It was June, the perfect season for sandals and their size was just right. They fit her perfectly. As I put them on her little feet I was so grateful. I felt Heavenly Father's awareness of me in both the huge desires and the small details. There were tiny feet now filling those shoes and the tiny feet belonged to our daughter. My daughter. His daughter, that he has so amazingly sent to my home to love and cherish and raise. That day at Target I wanted so badly to be able to know that this would come to fruition in my life but I didn't. All I knew was my desire for it to happen and my faith that Heavenly Father could make it happen in my life. I am grateful for his tender mercy. I know with all my heart that Kimbre's desire will be fulfilled as well. I look forward anxiously for it to happen. I feel warm inside thinking about her time of joy. I love her so much.
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