Saturday, April 24, 2010

Hunter and Emma.

She looks just like him. She is just the female version. I look at Hunter's baby pictures and can't believe it. It is so neat. Her loves her. Just like he loves Ave. He is so gentle and sweet with her. He always wants to lay by her and have her hold his finger. He tells me how cute she is and marvels over how tiny she is. He is really enjoying her. I love that he put his football in the bouncy seat next to her and it is pretty much as big as she is. Wish she could stay tiny for a long time. I love watching how tender he is with her. I know how protective he will be over her, and she will love him for it.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

At peace.

I still feel like I should pinch myself to make sure this is real. We have a baby. She is healthy and safe and beautiful. When I wake up and look next to me there she is in the bassinet. Snuggly and sweet, tiny lips and perfect nose sleeping happily. I can't wait to hold her, can't get enough of her, never want to put her down. I could just sit and stare at her all day. My whole being feels a peace that I have been missing for a while. Even though I am getting up every few hours I feel like I am sleeping better than I have in a very long time. My heart and mind are not worrying and longing for a child. She is here, we are blessed..I am full of joy and contentment. It is real, and she is amazing.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Emma Rose Burch

SURPRISE!!!!! Okay so when I last posted on March 27th about being dilated and having contractions. Yeah well lets just say that the contractions kept coming on strong and by 5:00 that evening Deke and I were checking into the hospital to get ready to have a baby. My mom was still in San Diego and unable to get out of work, Dave and Nalene were rushing back from a trip to Utah as fast as they could and Dad and Lisa had Hunter and Ave back at home and were trying to fanangle a babysitter so that they could come and wait at the hospital. They got me all hooked up and started monitoring me and getting my IV's and all that fun stuff set up. Deke and I just talked excitedly as we waited to find out what time they were going to take me in. My c-section wasn't scheduled until April 6th so they did an ultrasound to check on the baby and do an estimated weight on her. Even though I was only at 35 weeks I was effaced to 70% because her head was so low and in position and was dilated to a 3.5. Dr. McKernan came in to see us and confirmed that we would definitely be having a baby tonight!!!! She was scheduled to be born sometime within the 10pm hour just like Hunter. He was born at 10:55 p.m. We waited a few hours as the nurses did all the necessary preparations for me. As the nurses brought in the scrubs for Deke to scrub up to get ready to go in, in came Dave and Nalene. They had driven the 10+ hours from Utah that morning and managed to make it right before I went in. Dave and Deke gave me a beautiful blessing and they wheeled me in for the lovely epidural. I had had a lot of anxiety about having another c-section because the emergency one with the twins was so scary and such a blur. I can not express to you the calm, peaceful, healing difference of the experience of Emma's birth. We went into the operating room and we were talking to Dr. McKernan and the nurses. The anthesiologist took pictures as they opened me up and took her out. (Deke said if he looked he thought he would pass out and I definitely didn't want to look) It was so calm as we excitedly gave our last guesses as to whether or not she would have hair and how big she would be. It was so calm and peaceful yet so exciting it was almost unbearable. Within a matter of only about fifteen minutes a beautiful high pitched little wail burst out into the room and a slimy, gorgeous little baby girl was held up high over the sheet for Deke and I to see. Deke went over to cut the cord and get some pictures of her as I laid on the table and listened to her beautiful, healthy cries. She was born at 10:19 p.m. and weighed 6lbs 10 oz (which is actually pretty chubby for being 5 weeks early) Then they brought her over and laid her on my chest and for the first time she and I were face to face. I couldn't believe how perfect she was! Her perfect little nose, full lips and of course those chubby little cheeks!! It was so amazing I don't think I couldn't even comprehend it all at that moment I was so overwhelmed with joy. Deke and I had about two minutes together to look and her and meet her before they wheeled her off to get cleaned up and wheeled me into recovery. Deke went with her to the nursery to be with her and help give her first bath. Deke has always been a sensitive guy but I could not believe how tender he was with her. Every time he would pick her up or someone would hand her to him tears would start streaming down his face. Later the nurse from the nursery told me she had never seen a father show so much joy over his new baby. Deke is such a wonderful man and an amazing daddy. I had to stay in recovery for an hour! It felt like the longest hour ever since no one besides Deke could come in and see me and I had only gotten to see the baby for those quick few moments. They finally got me into a room and settled shortly after midnight. I half listened to the nurses instructions as a I asked when I could see the baby. Moments later they brought her in and Deke laid her in my arms. I always thought that when this moment came I wouldn't be able to control the tears that would come. Instead my whole body burned with happiness and I could not stop smiling. I held her as close to me as I could and smelled her little head. I kissed her soft little hands and cheeks and smelled her sweetness over and over again. I could not get enough of her, all I could say was "she is amazing, isn't she beautiful." She has quite a bit of hair especially in the back. It is dark brown but not jet black like Hunter's was when he was born. Sometimes she looks like Deke, she definitely looks like Hunter and the older she gets the more she looks like my baby pictures. The cheeks are exactly like Hunter's, it makes me wonder if all our babies will have those delicious chubby cheeks. As Deke sat next to me on the bed in the quiet of the night, just the two of us, I don't think in my most wonderful dreams that I could have comprehended the joy that we shared at that moment as we held her and looked at her. After all that we have been through we were experiencing a miraculous tender mercy. Her birth could not have gone smoother and she being our fifth child is our first baby to have not seen a minute in the NICU. She is so healthy and strong and it was amazing to get to have her the whole time in the room with us. Over the next couple of days in the hospital we had lots of wonderful company and I struggled through getting her to breastfeed. Hunter took to it so easily and she had a little harder of a time getting used to it but now has fully adjusted :) I forgot how wonderful breastfeeding is and how bonding it is. Another interesting part of this story is about her name. We had several names picked out and yet after she was born we just couldn't decide which one fit her. None of them stood out to us. A day passed a we whittled down a few, another day passed and we were down to Emma and Addyson. Why in the world could we not just decide on her name? Our family called us routinely throughout the day to check on the name status and harass us. Finally the day we left the hospital the birth recorder told us we had until that Friday to decide or she would go down on her birth certificate as Baby Girl Burch. Deke and I decided that this was definitely not a shining parenting moment for us and knew we could not let them happen or we would surely be the worst parents in the world. When we brought her home to Hunter and Avery I felt like all the things I had dreamed about were coming true. Watching them with her so gentle and loving, so excited and giggling I couldn't stop the emotion. Sitting on the bed with all three of them my heart felt so warm and again an overwhelming sense of gratitude for a moment I at one time wondered if I would ever have. The kids continued to call her Emma and Avery had from the very beginning. We all talked as a family and decided she was definitely our Emma. To announce the end our our indecision we came up with a little idea and went to Staples and bought these name tags. Then we took some pictures and sent out an email with this picture: Needless to say Emma is almost three weeks old as I am writing this post and she is nothing short of amazing and a miracle in our lives. She is a constant reminder of faith and prayer, hope and tender mercy. She is a wonderful, happy, beautiful baby and is definitely our rainbow after the storm. Thank you Heavenly Father that miracles still happen: we love you Miss Emma, welcome home :) :)

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Little angel...

Wrapped Emma up in my wedding veil and took some pictures of her sleeping. She looks like an angel, enough said....

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Everything tiny

I really wanted to send out birth announcements when Emma was born. I even thought about using this picture above on them because I think that it is just precious. The other morning I was laying next to her on the bed and watching her sleep. Thinking about how tiny she is at only 6lbs 10oz. Looking for the millionth time in awe at her tiny fingernails and teeny blond eyelashes. Everything in such a small scale but so completely perfect. She is amazing, I can 't believe I helped make her. Looking down at her cheeks and feeling my heart warm. Little baby bulldog cheeks, her skin is so soft. Seriously baby skin is the softest thing ever. Leaning down to rub my nose against her cheek. She smells like heaven and I want to just stay in this moment for awhile. Happiness washing over me every time I see her and pick her up. When I hold her close to my chest I just don't want to put her down. She is amazing, there are no words sufficient.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

"My baby Emma"

Avery is a big sister. She knew she was going to be before any of us knew. I know these two are going to have a special bond, they already do. When Ave told everyone that day at lunch that "Mom had a baby in her belly" her "baby Emma" I didn't even know at all that I was pregnant yet. Imagine my confusion at where it was coming from when she kept telling everyone at preschool and church and everywhere that I was pregnant with "baby Emma." So of course when we found out we were having a girl I was shocked, "Avery we are having a girl, a sister!" I excitedly told her. She looked at Deke and I as if we were finally getting it and matter of fact like said "Yep, my baby Emma." She knew. I don't know how but she knew. As far as she is concerned Em is her baby. She loves being a big sister and can't stop planting squishy kisses on her. She wants to squeeze her and hold her and help with every part of taking care of her. She loves to get the diaper and help pull the tab and stick it on. She loves to help "scrub" her hair in the bath. They are so sweet. I am so happy for the two of them that they have each other, there is just nothing in the world like having a sister. They are going to have so much fun growing up together.