Thursday, January 31, 2008

Grateful for my boys...



It's hard to believe that Ethan and Dylan would have been three on Sat. how fun and busy those two would be right now. Even though this week is always really tough for us I am really trying to focus on the positive instead of the pain. I am grateful this week for those little things that my family has done that are really big things for me. Last night Hunter was playing with a cardboard box, he set it up with chairs around it and said, "Mom, I just probably want to take you to dinner at my restaurant." I gave him a tablecloth and he got busy setting up a little table and coloring menus and signs for his restaurant. Then we made homemade pizza together just him and I and we sat down together at his little table and ate and talked just him and I. After we ate he came over and gave me a hug and said, "There you go sweet mom" (sometimes he calls me sweet mom and Avery sweet girl) and just sat on my lap so I could hold him. I am so grateful to have such a beautiful four year old who in sweet moments like this makes the whole world feel better. I remember how nervous I was when I found out we were having a boy since I had grown up with a housefull of girls. I never could have imagined how special the relationship is between a mom and her little boy. I am grateful to have a husband who has called me during the day just to tell me he loves me a little more this week and spent extra time giving me back rubs and snuggling with me until I can finally fall asleep. It's not so much what he says as much as it is that he always knows what I need. There is just something about Deke that is so amazing, it is like he just always knows how to make it better, he provides so much comfort and understands like no one else can. There has never been a doubt in my mind as to why he is my eternal companion. I am grateful for Ethan and Dylan they are such valiant little spirits that all they had to do was come and get a body, they have to be some very special little guys. I can not wait to get to hold them and really get to know them. I am grateful that they have helped me to realize more than ever that I believe in the plan of salvation. I am grateful for a million things in my life but this week I am so very grateful for my boys. Each one of them all take such good care of me and are so tender to their sensitive mommy. They hug me and hold me and make me feel so much love. This week is one of those where I just can never have too much love and support. Each year I feel like we are making positive progress but some things will never change. I am still their mommy and they are still my babies and that will always touch a very tender part of my heart.


Deke, Hunter, Ethan and Dylan thank you for loving me the way you do.

5 comments:

Lisa said...

You are a great mom and to have the opporunity to be such special little spirits mom is such a privilege. Love you Mekell. Our thoughts are with you all. Love aunt Lisa

CJ said...

What a sweet tribute to the boys in your life Mekell. Our thoughts are with you all a little extra this week:)

Hailey said...

Cute, cute, cute pictures! I love Hunter's "restaurant"! What a sweet boy to help cheer you up! I hope you have a special day tomorrow remembering your 2 other boys, Ethan and Dylan. I will be thinking of you. :)

Rae Lynn said...

I think that all of your boys are also so grateful to have you in their lives. Isn't amazing how such painful moments in time truly are tremendous blessings (even in ways that we don't yet comprehend)? I pray that both you and Deke receive the comfort that you need.

Justina Selim said...

I loved all the pics that you posted. I hope that day went ok for you. I can't imagine how you must feel. You are a great mom!