The other day Emma and I were playing peek-a-boo in my bathroom mirror. She was dressed in a very sweet white outfit and after we stopped playing she sat there and just stared at herself in the mirror. She kept touching her reflection and smiling at herself and then at me. Then I had a moment. I felt warmth spread across my chest and tears starting to fall. She looked like an angel. All in white so beautiful, so innocent. Her skin so soft, her big blue eyes and little dimpled fingers. Her perfect little nose and long eyelashes. I thought about her baby sweetness, her unawareness of the struggles and unclean things of the world. I thought about her closeness to the spirit, wondered about her rememberance of heaven and her Father, wondered if she could remember moments with her big brothers. She is so precious. It amazes me how much babies watch our examples and learn to follow. A few weeks ago we all knelt down one night to say prayer, I went to start and Deke said, "MeKell look." I looked over and there was our baby. Sitting on her bum with her tiny arms perfectly folded, waiting. It was amazing, Deke and I bawled. When did she learn to fold her arms? We never took her hands and showed her how. She had been watching. In a moment it went from watching to imitating. She knew it was time for prayer. We were so touched. About a week later she shocked us once again. Every night since Hunter was two after prayer we do a "family sandwich." Everyone stacks their hands on top of each others and then we say 1,2,3, family! and then put our hands in the air. It is a tradition. When Emma was tiny I used to take her hand and place it on top of the pile even as a newborn. Sometimes she would sit and just watch us do it and smile. This night however we piled up our hands and before we could start she toddled over and all by herself put her little hand on the top of the pile. Again the tears came. Why are Deke and I so tender about our children. They can bring happy tears so easily. She put her hand on top and then we started 1,2,3, family!, she put her hands up in the air and smiled. She knew. Now every night right after prayer she hurries over to put her hand in with her family. It is amazing.
How did He know. How did he know how much I needed her...we needed her. She is perfect. Can't I keep her this way forever? Does she know how special she is, who she is? That she is a daughter of Father in Heaven. Of her great worth and what she brings to this family and to those around her? I think of the quote: "If you have eyes to see what Heaven sees in you." I see her little life flying forward ahead of me. I see a little girl, her baptism, a beautiful young women, a bride. I see a very special person with so much to offer the world around her.
Hunter brought me the camera and I hurried to take a few pictures of her to capture this moment. In the quiet of my bathroom, the spirit so strong even she is quietly watching herself in the mirror hardly moving around, sitting there staring at herself as if she is having a moment and forgets that I am even there. What is happening right now. I dont' totally understand. But I soak it in, grateful to be able to share in it with her.
Then all of a sudden she straightens up her little neck, becoming aware again that I am watching her and a sweet little grin spreads across her face. Quiet moment over. Back to the growing.
The other day Emma and I were playing peek-a-boo in my bathroom mirror. She was dressed in a very sweet white outfit and after we stopped playing she sat there and just stared at herself in the mirror. She kept touching her reflection and smiling at herself and then at me. Then I had a moment. I felt warmth spread across my chest and tears starting to fall. She looked like an angel. All in white so beautiful, so innocent. Her skin so soft, her big blue eyes and little dimpled fingers. Her perfect little nose and long eyelashes. I thought about her baby sweetness, her unawareness of the struggles and unclean things of the world. I thought about her closeness to the spirit, wondered about her rememberance of heaven and her Father, wondered if she could remember moments with her big brothers. She is so precious. It amazes me how much babies watch our examples and learn to follow. A few weeks ago we all knelt down one night to say prayer, I went to start and Deke said, "MeKell look." I looked over and there was our baby. Sitting on her bum with her tiny arms perfectly folded, waiting. It was amazing, Deke and I bawled. When did she learn to fold her arms? We never took her hands and showed her how. She had been watching. In a moment it went from watching to imitating. She knew it was time for prayer. We were so touched. About a week later she shocked us once again. Every night since Hunter was two after prayer we do a "family sandwich." Everyone stacks their hands on top of each others and then we say 1,2,3, family! and then put our hands in the air. It is a tradition. When Emma was tiny I used to take her hand and place it on top of the pile even as a newborn. Sometimes she would sit and just watch us do it and smile. This night however we piled up our hands and before we could start she toddled over and all by herself put her little hand on the top of the pile. Again the tears came. Why are Deke and I so tender about our children. They can bring happy tears so easily. She put her hand on top and then we started 1,2,3, family!, she put her hands up in the air and smiled. She knew. Now every night right after prayer she hurries over to put her hand in with her family. It is amazing. 
5 comments:
Every time I read your blog it makes me want to be a better mom. I love your words and you inspire me! And your kids are just so stinking adorable :) I know that's not what this is about, but thanks.
She is an angel. I'm glad things are going so well for you and your family.
How sweet.
How sweet.
such a sweet post mekell!
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